A troubled ocean
by White Butterfly
Summary: There's turmoil in InuYasha's childhood. Warning. Contains AU, a nonromantic OC, twins, too many priestesses and despite this summary, serious stuff. Originally written in 2005.
1. On White

* * *

Prolouge 

- 

On white  


* * *

Muma?  
Papa?

-

A thin child's voice floats through the chill air.

-

Mama!  
Papa!

Searching, shrill against the wind.

-

MAMA!  
PAPA!

No longer pleading. Screaming.

A few snowflakes float down. It won't snow hard as it is only autumn but a few flakes touch down on whiteness.

-

The air is chill as she wakes up.  
"Muma? Yasha?" She mumbles as she groggily looks around for them. She realises that they aren't there anymore and plops back down, hard, on the tree's roots. Her eyes blurr up as she starts to cry, blubbing. Warm tears rush down, trickling down to her chin. She tries to swallow the tears down but she just starts crying again, harder than before.

Her tears gradually start to slow and every now and again she hiccups, breaking between quiet sobs. Her cheeks begin dry in the slow breeze but her eyes remain wet, full of tears. She sucks on her thumb and sucks back down her tears. She sniffs and then coughs, balling up her fist to cover her mouth and then sticking her thumb back in. She sucks on it thoughtfully as she walks on through the trees. She sniffs again but can smell nothing but the plants and the birds.

* * *


	2. Worry

**Worry, like the frayed edges around a hole**

* * *

Sesshomaru looked at the group in front of him. His father was there, as was his little half brother. His human step-mother was there too, though he didn't care much about her. Someone was missing though.. He looked closer at his step-mother, peering to see if someone was behind her. He looked closely at his father too, checking to see if anyone was hiding behind him or hanging on to some part of him. No-one. Sesshomaru's eyes widened, realising is little half-sister wasn't there. Where was she! Sesshomaru greeted his father cordially and briefly nodded to his step-mother who bowed slightly back. He greeted his brother as he usually did, coldly, as they both were their father's heirs though little Yasha did not understand that. He just smiled back at his big brother who had come just back from his schooling. After the greetings were done both Yasha and his mother went to prepare dinner. Sesshomaru and his father started walking.

"You'll be leaving in a few years won't you?"

"Yes, father I will. As is traditional I'll leave on my eighteenth birthday. I expect I shall gain my inheritance then?"

"You will get it at the same time as your brother. When he is ready to go out to live in the world. If I die before that time you shall get your inheritance as will your brother."

"Yes, as you wish father." Sesshomaru gazed out at the building where his step-mother was. Where was his sister?

"Of course when you leave you shall become a lord in your own right. You will have to search out a loyal retainer then. One hopes as loyal as my own." His father continued rambling on about the correct procedures for lordship.

"Thank you father. Perhaps we shall discuss this closer to the time." Sesshomaru stalked off to the shade of the trees within sight of the main buildings. His father gazed after him for a few seconds and then went to join the rest of his family.

_'Aside from my half-sister_._ Where is she? She'd've bounced out from her hiding place and hugged me halfway to Hell by now. If she hadn't already annoyed Father there so she can ask me for lessons.' _Sesshomaru stared out from the green shade of the trees. He knew he was still considered a child, especially as a demon, but he considered that he looked on everything as would a full grown three hundred year old demon. He liked to show that he did not need a few centuries experience to judge peoples emotions.

'_Father will not allow her to start learning before her brother does. She is, after all, a girl. A girl is no heir, however spirited or suited she is. Such a shame, she shows more spirit than little Yasha does. I would gladly teach her. I like her, even though it's because she's not father's heir. Though I think I would like her even if she was.'_ Sesshomaru lifted his head from his knees and looked at the collection of buildings in front of him. Father had settled down once he had found his second wife, partly because she was human, partly because she had insisted. It had been a surprise to the little Sesshomaru to learn that his father would not be traveling anymore. He had cried and kicked up a fuss as he had liked traveling with his father.

"You will learn compassion and manners now that we will be living with Izayoi. Though she is human you will treat her as if she was older than you. As you should all humans of great bearing." That had been ages ago to both Sesshomaru and Izayoi.

_'I have grown up and discarded those childish practices and she, well, she's grown old, though I know father is doing all that he can so he can keep her. He is at least happy that he has children from her.' _He looked again over the buildings._ 'That is true at least. Though what has happened to Kaiyou I have no idea.' _Sesshomaru froze. _'Perhaps he did not want her. Perhaps he does not want a female to continue on after him. Even though he has two sons already.' _He grimaced and bolted up from the tree's shade and rushed into the building where they were preparing for dinner.

"Father! Where is Kaiyou? Is she sick?" Sesshomaru stopped running and stood in the doorway.

"What is the matter son?"

"I just remembered where is Kaiyou today? She would usually be running up to me by now." _'Only once has she ever not come running to greet me and that was when she and Yasha had a fever and were sick for days.'_

"She is visiting someone at the moment, Sesshomaru. Do not worry so close to mealtime, you may get a stomach ache." Izayoi interrupted abruptly, placing the settings on the table. Yasha tried to help but tripped over his mother's kimono.

"Yes, mother. Shall I go play with Yasha?" Sesshomaru offered only out of politeness.

"Please."

Yasha gladly excepted his older brother's hand and followed him out of the building into the courtyard.

"Where shall we play little brother?"

"Trees!"

"Shall we play chase?" Yasha nodded. He played it with mother but she wasn't good at catching up with him and father always stayed as he was and didn't change. He liked playing with his siblings. They were much more fun.

"Wait until I'm five trees away."

"We're not going anywhere are we?"

Sesshomaru turned around at his little brother's comment.

"Why should we go anywhere?"

"Father played chase with 'You yesterday to go visit someone"

"Don't worry, we aren't going anywhere." Sesshomaru smiled at his little brother. Yasha was surprised at this. His brother did not smile at him.

Sesshomaru jumped up onto a tree branch.

"Little brother try and catch me!" Yasha watched him hop five trees away and then sprang up to follow him.

_'Poor little Yasha just follows me. Kai is much smarter and she tries to cut me off. Still I have no idea what's happened to her... I just hope the worst has not happened to her...'_ Sesshomaru kept running through the trees making sure that little Yasha was behind him.

-o-

A sound makes the birds flee out of their perches.

"Atchooo!" She sneezes loudly, halting in the middle of the clearing. Her sneeze pauses the birds' song but they resume as if nothing is the matter. She sniffs and she sneezes again but this time at the strong smell of the herbs on her hands. She continues out of the clearing muttering;

"Whatever Muma says about it keeping insects away does not make up for it making my nose itch." She twitches her nose again but keeps from sneezing. She marches onwards but soon collapses by a tree. Sunlight falls where she is sitting and she lies there, her face upturned, breathing in the forest air. Her nose twitches and her eyes startle open. She stands up and faces the tree. She looks as if she is about to shout at some unseen person but then flops back down on the ground.

"So much for smelling Papa here. I should know that he used to wander around a lot. And he was here." She looks up to the sky through the canopy of leaves. "A long time ago. I can smell that it was a very long time ago." She sniffs again. "Before 'Shomaru was born, I think" She sniffs but this time because a tear is making it's way down her cheek. Her fists pound her knees as she cries.

"I won't be a useless girl! 'Shomaru knows that. Muma too but she does what Papa tells her. Yasha's scared sometimes but he's like 'Shomaru, hoping nothing bad will happen to me." Her fists bang against her knees harder. "I don't know what Papa thinks..." Her cries drown out the sound of the warm wind rustling through the branches.

-o-

Yasha slurped at his noodles noisily.

"Yasha, don't slurp so loudly." Izayoi glanced at her son sharply. He meekly began using his chopsticks to push the noodles into his mouth. Izayoi breathed out and continued eating her meal. Sesshomaru, across from her, and her husband, beside her, continued to slowly peck at their food. She smiled at the thought that the great dog lord and his son succumbing to the rules of etiquette.

"I do wonder why I insist on regular meals when you two hardly eat a bowlful combined."

"Yasha and Kaiyou are still growing mother. And they are half bred." Sesshomaru looked down at his bowl, keeping carefully within politeness.

"My son is right, half bred demons need twice as much as full demons to grow but only half that of humans." He kept his voice mellow and solemn keeping his gaze to his bowl.

"Yasha eating half that of a human?" Izayoi kept her tone low but everyone but Yasha could tell there was a hint of humorous doubt in her voice.

"Boys will be boys. Female demons eat almost nothing at all."

"I am glad then that Kaiyou will not be as vain then. She'd need the energy to keep on arguing." Izayoi finished what was on her dish and gathered the rest from the table along with Yasha's bowl. Sesshomaru and his father continued, slowly eating from their bowls. Sesshomaru was the first to finish out of the two and accepted his bowl of tea from his step-mother. Izayoi also handed her husband a bowl and settled down to make sure that Yasha would not pour his down his front.

"It's not going to poison you Yasha. Everybody drinks it and no one is falling down dead."

"It's bitter!" Izayoi glanced at her husband, who was drinking some of his tea before finishing his rice.

"It means you are noble and able to bear anything if you are willing to drink it." He was closing his eyes as he drank it but Izayoi knew that her husband was playing a small joke on Yasha to make him drink it. What made it even funnier was that he didn't like it either. Only Sesshomaru and Kaiyou actually liked tea and both would drink it faster if etiquette didn't get in the way. She smiled as Yasha tried to copy his father only getting more down the front of his clothes.

"You haven't drunk enough to be able to do it with your eyes closed Yasha." Sesshomaru looked over the rim of his bowl at Yasha. He had given up trying to do it like the rest of his family and was staring at the bottom of the bowl while he drank it. Izayoi finally picked up her bowl and swilled it around. She tried not to think about how Kaiyou loved her tea as she sipped it.

"How much longer are you going to sip your tea mother?" Sesshomaru's voice cut through her thoughts like ice.

"As long as she will take son. Tea is a serious occasion. She has been working all day to make sure the clothes are fine for winter and for your arrival back." _'Nothing of the sort. I checked last week and I had everything prepared three days ago. All I've been doing today is worrying and looking after Yasha.'_ She sipped at the bitter dregs left in her bowl and checked that her husband had finished his.

"Thank you _koishii_. What shall we do now sons? Don't forget that it's winter soon, so Yasha, we can't have another game of chase."

"Yasha needs to go to sleep soon too. Don't forget." Izayoi's voice floated in from another room.

"We are in a dilemma..." Their father sank into thought but again their mother's voice came in.

"Yasha needs a bath and I'm sure Sesshomaru would want one as well. Sesshomaru, will you make sure your brother doesn't spill all the water?"

"Yes mother." Sesshomaru took his brother's hand and lead him through the door into the courtyard where they headed to the bath house.

-o-

Silence aside from a few swishes.

"You want to talk to me about something."

"Yes I do." A pause.

"Well?"

Izayoi entered the room again.

"Kaiyou. I'm not sure where you went or who you left her with but I know this is not for today or this week."

He paused a little before his response. "I am not a person who will abandon a helpless child because they are of no use to me. I like to think I would not even abandon a child who is not helpless as Kaiyou is. I know I have..." He added as his wife looked at him. "She is not helpless, look at Yasha for proof. Nor would she be of no use, though as a half demon and female she would not be able to live in demon society. And in human society she would be an outcast. A half demon is not wanted anywhere."

"Is this just an excuse for putting her out?"

"No. Izayoi" he clasped his wife's hand, resting their hands on his knees, "if she grew up as Yasha will, she'll only be able to either live with you or I. I, I am not quite the type to protect one for centuries and you are old now despite what I do. I'm sorry." Izayoi's eyes filled and a hiccoughed sob popped out of her mouth. He hugged her as she buried her head into his shoulder. "She's the second. Yasha will come to no harm if she dies. I tell you, no harm will come to our darling Yasha."

* * *

This is about a billion and one years old. But I wrote 11k words in before I stopped AND I drafted out all the way to the end. So this'll get updated, slowly. I may even actually finish it, and not just post the snippets and the rough outline I wrote after that first eleven thousand words, if there is enough call for it. So if you like it, please leave a review.


	3. In the Forest

The moon's mouth rose out of the trees and clouds. It shone on falling snowflakes and silver.  
'I wonder if I should sleep' Kaiyou thought as she walked, still, through the forest. She sneezed.  
"Great. I have a cold." She continued shuffling through the forest finally deciding that at tree with lush grass at it's base was good. 'Muma and Yasha must be asleep by now.' She smiled to herself for staying up later than her brother. 'Maybe Papa and 'Shomaru as well...'  
Her nose twitches as she sleeps, as do her eyelids, but she can't smell the woodfire smoke coming from not too far away.

-o-

Izayoi stood by her window. One shaft of moonlight fell on the futon she slept alone on.  
'Yasha's the second. I never told you that. You weren't present when they were born. The mid-nurse just gave them to you once they were clean.' Izayoi turned away from the window letting it close.  
'Kaiyou was the first one. The nurse said when Yasha came "Ohh another pretty girl, no, make that a handsome boy." And then when she had wrapped them up and given them to me "One would think, if they saw them like that, that they were identical. Never mind, you shall always be able to tell them apart, sure as bones." And she laughed after that. Though I have always been able to tell them apart, even before she said that.' Izayoi knelt on the futon, removing her hair from the ties that held it in place. 'One would kick all the time, stopping only once in a while. And the other would kick only now and again, but when I didn't expect it. That was Kaiyou.' Izayoi smiled as she removed her outer kimono. 'She knows exactly when to strike and when not to. I do hope that Yasha will learn when the right time for things is...'  
She slid under the covers and rolled over to her side.  
'If Kaiyou lives."

-o-

Birds pick at the ploughed up soil while the villagers harvest their crop.  
"Did you hear the Inu no Taishou was seen yesterday in the forest north of here?"  
"What for? He's stopped traveling around ages ago."  
"What business does he have there anyway Shiori?"  
"Someone said in the town near there that he was carrying a bundle."  
"I heard from my brother that he heard a wailing in the forest that night. Said it sounded like a spirit."  
"Oh I hope that it's not something that will come here and destroy us!"  
"Calm down Yoko, he wouldn't let something endanger his lands."  
"Wonder what it is."  
"There's a hunting party going out tomorrow so if there's anything they'll see it."  
"Hazaya is going tomorrow, oh I hope he'll be alright!"  
"Probably something harmless whatever it is."  
"I hope you're right Naoko."  
"You know that Lord Taiyama had his blacksmith design a new tool last month."  
"Really? What does it do?"  
The villagers continue gossiping over news of a new play presented at the Lord Tenga's castle last month and the crop damage in the town three over, erasing talk of the bundle that the demon lord had left behind.

-o-

"Father?" Sesshomaru stepped into his father's room wearing one of the white bathing kimono.  
"Hm?"  
"Why is Izayoi worried about Kaiyou?"  
He looked up from the sword he was sharpening. "What makes you say that?"  
"I heard her from across the courtyard as I was about to close the bath-house door. She sounded very worried."  
"Nothing for you to worry about. She was only worried about how she shall grow up."  
"Why should she be worried about that?" Sesshomaru sat down.  
"It's about Kaiyou and Yasha being twins." He resumed sharpening his sword but stopped when Sesshomaru didn't reply.  
"Twins are special. Humans say that if one twin dies the remaining one will receive magical powers. It has something to do with one soul, two bodies I believe." He picked up a scabbard and started polishing it. "There is a species of demon which are born as twins and they fight until one dies. Nothing happens to the one that survives. However," he slanted the scabbard downwards, "in other species of demon, twins react differently. Imagine there's a invisible link between them that can be stretched as far as they are apart. They can send thoughts and emotions, even images to another, if they know how to. Emotions can be sent sometimes even without knowing how." He paused and looked at the scabbard. "The link from the oldest to the youngest is the strongest though. If one thing happens to the eldest it happens to the youngest. It depends on how closely they were born. If it was many hours one might have an arm chopped off and the other only has a slight pain. But if the eldest is killed the second one dies too. That's why Izayoi is so concerned. She's worried that if something happens to Kaiyou it will happen to Yasha. The link only affects them one way though. Whatever happens to the youngest doesn't necessarily travel to the oldest." He peered at the grain of the scabbard. It was almost invisible. "There, done." He settled the scabbard down and turned properly towards his eldest son. "Are you tired at all?"  
"Not really Father. Thank you for telling me this though." He bowed as he left the room. "I shall go now. O-yasumi nasai."  
"O-yasumi." The Inu no Taishou continued to sit there for a while and then began clearing up all the materials. Totosai had done his job well and forged two spectacular swords. He had also, upon hearing of his great fortune of being graced with Kaiyou, insisted upon making another sword, using only a claw this time not a fang. He had pondered why Totosai had insisted upon this as any bloodlust that Kaiyou might have should be blocked by Tetsusaiga.  
"I suppose she had to have a inheritance of some sort." he said as he snuffed out the light.

-o-

Totosai pottered around his cave.  
"Ohohoho. This is a fine dinner!" He sat down at his roasted flank of beef. "Now who did I receive this from? Uhhhh.. Ah! The Dog lord. He gave it for doing all that forging." He munched on it, savouring how long it had lasted him. "Though it might have been for forging that little trinket for his daughter. They're easy to make things for, daughters." He continued eating his dinner.  
"Ah that was a good dinner." Totosai settled against the wall to sleep. "He never said to make a sword for the eldest of the twins though, just Yasha. Think it's a good thing I made something for that daughter. Just in case he didn't ask his wife which was first born." He snored, his snores echoing through the cave he lived in.

-o-

Kaiyou shifted in her sleep, even as sunlight dappled over her clothes. The rustling of leaves shushed gently. Kaiyou's ears twitched and she sniffed, curling up into an even tighter ball. Soon the shushing of the leaves grew louder and whisperings traveled through the forest. Voices ran over as low and earthy as the trees.  
"You'll scare the hunt away, Joun."  
"Mayhap it has, Hazaya."  
"Shush you two, I wish to hear the beast's breathing." Their footsteps rustled against the leaves. A bewildered tanuki scampered around the bases of the trees but the hunters ignored it. They were concentrating on the beast which was breathing at the base of a tree. They couldn't see it yet but they were sure it was large and enough to feed them till the next time they were to hunt. They shifted around the tree but not quite within range of sight of whatever was there. It snuffled and the grass shifted. A flash of fingers and the group of eight rushed to the tree expecting a large deer or the like. Instead they saw a red bundle with silver fur poking out.  
"What is that beast?"  
"It is red as the fire rat is but I have never heard of one as big or one with silver fur as this."  
"Perhaps we should kill it and take it..."  
A scream came from the bundle as it convulsed, thrashing.  
"PAAAAAAAAAAAPAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
It untwisted and the hunters leapt back expecting maybe an attack from some deceitful demon. They instead saw a small face and silver hair.  
"PAAAAAAAAAAAPAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
It screamed again.  
"PAAAAAAAAAAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
It finished but it's mouth was still open, sobbing. They could see now that it was a small child with silver hair.  
"It's a youkai! This is no good..."  
"See the ears. It's an inu-youkai, possibly one of the lord's own litter."  
"It must have been lost and the Inu no Taishou was looking for it!"  
"We should take it back to the village then. If the lord does come looking, he will either search at our village or the one up north near his castle."  
"Aye."  
The rest of the hunters agreed with their leader's logic. Living so close to the Inu no Taishou meant they always had to be prepared to do whatever it took to get into his good graces.

The child was still sobbing as the two fathers of the group carried her though the forest. Her thumb made it's way into her mouth as they came out of the forest and onto the path to the village. As they reached it she had calmed down and was sleeping deeply with her thumb in her mouth.  
"Taidama!" The leader called out to all the villagers and expecting a beast or two they all piled out. As soon as they saw the red bundle on one of the men's shoulders some of them backed away.  
"You have brought a demon into the village! What has driven you to this?" The village headman approached and asked.  
"We found it on our hunt. We believe it may be one of the lord's own litter. Forgive us for acting so rashly." The hunt leader apologized.  
"Very well. We shall look after her. Will one of you take her?" No one from the hunting party offered. "Perhaps one of the other villagers. We have had a fruitful autumn so far."  
No-one made any move to offer. There were predictions of a long winter and no-one wanted to be without food.  
"Ach!" The priestess moved to the front of the villagers."Can't you people think past your two feet? She will only eat half that of any human and she'll be useful." The priestess stepped forward from the crowd. "If no-one will take her, I will." She paused to see if anyone would take her. "Fine then. I shall take her. Anything I should know about?"  
The huntsman bowed his head at the priestess. "She was screaming soon after we found her. She is also an inu-youkai, mistress."  
"I can see that, you bat! Take her to me when she awakens." She looked over at the sleeping figure on the ground. "On second thoughts bring her right now. She appears to have a fever and it might be some time before she will waken." The priestess turned back into the crowd. People made way for her and then closed back in around the demon child.  
"You heard Priestess Kuma. Take her to the shrine."  
The men nodded at their leader. Soon the child was being carried up the temple steps. They left her in the priestess's main rooms and left behind a small package of noodles and vegetables beside the child.  
The priestess entered with her herbs and mortar.  
"Well child, it seems you have some healing to do." She began grinding up the herbs she had brought in and as she ground them with the hot water from the fire, they gave off a pungent smell. Kaiyou moaned as she turned over and sniffed, wrinkling her nose.  
"Rest little one, you have plenty of time to heal. So sleep and all shall be better. Yes, that's right." Kaiyou snuggled into the mat underneath her. "Sure as bones you'll be all right by the end of this month, sure as bones."

* * *

Still in the stuff I had written back in 2005.


End file.
